


Tips and Tricks 1: How to Ensure Your Crew Doesn't Analyze the Cracks in Your Armor

by facelesshellion



Series: Guides, Tips and Tricks, and Quick Definitions [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Depends on how you look at things, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Possible pre-femme slash but mostly just pre-friendship for right now, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 18:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facelesshellion/pseuds/facelesshellion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Uhura's personal issues cast a shadow over her curiosity about Kirk's enigmatic reactions and Jim knows that people are bound to notice secrets. </p>
<p>They don't look very closely, which definitely helps with Jim's attempts at keeping them from digging deeper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tips and Tricks 1: How to Ensure Your Crew Doesn't Analyze the Cracks in Your Armor

**Author's Note:**

> This is another short one that takes place in the same verse but isn't the next big installment of the story. Sorry! I thought it would be but then it evolved because of a breakup my own friends are going through right now and I was hit by inspiration for this one-shot.
> 
> On the bright side, it is setting the stage for the next big installment and I know how I want it to start now for sure. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!

Unsurprisingly, Jim Kirk has more issues than a magazine company. 

Surprisingly, it takes the bridge crew almost three months to start seeing the cracks. 

For the majority of the time, Kirk has his head on straight. He doesn’t make rash decisions, and he avoids fights when possible. 

(Uhura still cringes when she remembers what Kirk refers to as the “Corbomite Maneuver.” Only he would be able to pull off a bluff of that magnitude and walk away unscathed.) 

Whenever Spock makes a dumb comment, laced with Vulcan stereotypes and more than a bit of offense, Uhura scowls but keeps her mouth shut during the proceedings. Part of her still smarts from their breakup and she feels that she is more critical of her ex than usual. 

She assumes that she’s the only one to catch the connotations behind his insult, and even if she wasn’t, most people tend to ignore when Spock inadvertently offends someone because of cultural differences. Vulcan was different from every other civilization and while Vulcans are renowned for their intelligence, their social views have always been backwards. 

(In her opinion, Vulcans are extremely socially primitive, seeing as they have passionate trysts with logic instead of actual people every five seconds.) 

(She’s not that bitter about breaking up with him. Really.) 

So when Spock states, in the middle of a discussion between the main bridge crew and Starfleet admiralty, “We cannot say that the civilization has the wrong idea when it comes to population control. Keeping the strong and wise alive, logically, should be a priority for sustaining the species’ existence most beneficially. In addition, in this specific situation, having too many citizens with not enough supplies would only cause more difficulties in the long run. How can we punish the leaders for taking the most logical course of action in a time of desperation? Are we to interfere with their response when Starfleet prefers to leave underdeveloped species to their own devices?” She knows that he is really saying, “Who are we to stop this planet from taking care of their trash? It’s not our problem. There are many more important things Starfleet can deal with instead of this planet’s measly and weak population cut.” 

It’s shocking when Kirk’s head snaps over to Spock, cutting off Admiral Archer’s beginning response, and he barks, “Repeat that, Commander, and you will be suspended from active duty for the next six months. I never want to hear you implying that one life is worth more than another again. I never want to hear you justifying genocide. That is not how this ship functions. Am I understood?” 

The ready room goes silent. Kirk’s face, blank, stares at Spock until he nods. 

“Understood, sir.” 

Kirk turns back to the vid screen. “As you all know, sirs, as a Federation planet, Zet will need to face heavy charges for its actions. I assume you all have noticed the parallels between Zet’s circumstances and the Tarsus IV Massacre, correct?” 

“Correct.” Pike answers for the entire board. 

“I know for a fact that Governor Kodos of Tarsus IV had many followers that survived. I also seem to recall that Senator… Bishop, was it? Yes, I believe so. Wasn’t he a second generation immigrant to Zet that interned and then worked with Kodos for at least ten years?” 

The silence stretched. 

“Would someone like to explain how Remy Bishop was somehow able to become a leader of a Federation sanctioned colony without a complete psych evaluation? Especially considering he’s one of the few survivors of the massacre left in the universe. I mean, for me to just be a captain, I had more doctors examining my head than I can count, and I wasn’t Kodos’ right hand man.” 

He stands up and leans his hands against the table, hip cocked to the side. 

“We’ll go in tomorrow and provide supplies and relief aid. I will have a security team searching for Bishop. 

“I highly recommend announcing to the public that this situation has caused Starfleet to ultimately decide that every officer in a position of power must be reevaluated in depth to ensure that something like this won’t happen again. 

“Best of luck with the backlash, admirals. Kirk out.” 

Uhura cuts the feed quickly. She knows Kirk well enough to understand when he wants a quick, clean cut. 

Kirk spins to face Spock, eyes dark and nostrils flaring. “You’re on gamma shift and gamma shift ONLY for the next three weeks until I can look at your face without wanting to fly off into a homicidal rage. That is an order.” 

“Sir-“ 

“First off; I will not have my first officer justifying genocide to the admiralty. You may have your opinion, whatever, that’s just fine. Just don’t say it to the people that will twist what you said and throw us under the bus to the press at the first opportunity to take the heat off of them. Did you even think before you said anything? 

“Second; you will never take the complete opposite stance of everything we decided as a team in front of the higher-ups and make it look like we have no cohesion whatsoever. 

“We are a team. Outside of this ship, we back each other up. I thought I made that clear early on. You blatantly ignored all of the discussion we agreed moments before the conference and put your personal opinion out there, implying that your opinion is oh-so-much more important than everyone else’s. I don’t see the logic in that other than selfishness, and I assure you, if that persists, I will pick another commander as my first officer and you will be demoted.” 

His face clears suddenly and he smiles at the rest of the crew. 

“I’d like to give express thanks to Chekov and Scotty for their extraordinary work in discovering how to get past the force field keeping transmissions from reaching us. Great work, gentlemen. 

“Uhura, as always, wonderful job knowing the language better than the natives do and facilitating the communication process so we could contact the admiralty with the most accurate information. 

“Sulu, you’re going to be in the away team with Bones and me when we beam down tomorrow. Make any preparations you need. Briefing will be at 0600. 

“Bones,” Here, he slaps a hand against McCoy’s back, grin widening. “Guess it’s time for you to think back to xenobiology III in our second year. Still have the Zet physiology flashcards?” 

“I’ll never understand how you had time to make me flashcards. Or why you would want to either.” McCoy drawls, pushing Jim’s hand off of him while he stands up and stretches. “Believe me, I’ll be prepared to deal with whatever they throw at us tomorrow.” 

“Don’t sound so excited. Really, it’s making me uncomfortable seeing such joy in your face.” 

Both of them leave together, and it’s Uhura’s lucky seat near the door that lets her hear the mumbled exchange between them. 

“You sure you can handle this, kid? No one would care if you sent someone else down there.” 

“I’m one of the few people that knows what Bishop looks like firsthand. It only makes sense that I go, Bones.” 

“You don’t have to.” 

“Kind of do, but thanks for trying.” 

The door slides shut behind them, and Uhura tries not to over analyze a conversation she wasn’t meant to hear. 

“The captain feels very strongly about unity,” Chekov muses, spinning his chair around. “We must be team, not just crew, he says. Very… noble. I don’t know how anyone could disagree with the sentiment.” 

Spock abruptly storms out wordlessly. 

Uhura does not snicker. 

Nor does she punch the air, thrilled that someone, even if it is Kirk, finally called him out on his bullshit. 

Nor does she notice Sulu and Scotty snickering and giving Chekov affectionate noogies. 

Spock’s one of them, and they all respect and care about him in their own ways. 

But sometimes that Vulcan attitude can really irk everyone, and knowing that Kirk isn’t immune to that and is able to take him down a peg… 

Well, it makes Uhura’s next shift easier to get through. 

* * * * * 

Even after his intense scolding to Spock, Kirk still seems normal. 

It’s when he returns from the planet that the cracks become apparent. 

Uhura isn’t there when it happens, but Gaila, who had been helping Scotty with the transporter, relayed the events to her later. 

Sulu beamed up first, followed by McCoy. McCoy ushered everyone out of the room that didn’t need to be there, stating medical privilege and lying through his teeth. 

Kirk beamed up last, pale hands tucked underneath his armpits, and bile dried at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t look at anyone. McCoy wrapped an arm around him and they left the room. 

“Why was he like that?” 

“Hell if I know.” 

“What did Sulu say?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Did McCoy say anything?” 

“Don’t know.” 

“Gaila!” Uhura groans loudly, head tilting back against the couch. “Didn’t you follow up at all?” 

“Nope,” She’s preoccupied with painting her toe nails orange. “I think I should’ve gone with blue. I’m not feeling very orange-y today.” 

“Why didn’t you ask Jim what happened?” 

Gaila sighs. “Nyota, Jim isn’t the kind of guy that wants people seeing him when he’s vulnerable like that. Leonard had him covered. It wasn’t a big deal. We all have things that bother us and I don’t want to be gossiping when it’d make him uncomfortable.” 

She pulls her hair out of her ponytail, halfheartedly brushing her fingers through it to untangle some knots. “You’re a much better person than I am.” 

“I have the advantage of knowing what Jim looks like at his worst though. You’d be less curious too,” Gaila admits. “There was a night where we got together and we had to stop halfway through. He started freaking out. I still don’t know what triggered it, but I had to call Leonard to pick him up, he was that hysterical.” 

She wiggles her toes, grinning. “Nice guy. Bit of a freak, but very nice. Very considerate too, if you catch my drift.” Green eyelids flicker shut in a wink. “Way too many problems though. I’m sorta relieved he’s calmed down since becoming captain, I’d’ve had to start shooting him down every once in awhile before he got too attached.” 

Uhura toes off her shoes and holds out a hand. “I’m feeling orange-y today.” 

Gaila passes her the bottle. “You only feel orange-y when you’re depressed. You still upset about Spock?” 

Her face flushes. “Why would I be upset about that prick? I’m not upset that he’s a bastard that said he broke up with me to repopulate his species with his fiancée at a later date without telling me that hey, since he’s a hybrid, he’s fucking sterile and he was not repopulating anything except his right hand. I’m also not upset that he apparently has a fiancée that he has been engaged to since before we started dating and he never saw fit to even mention that in passing. No, I am not upset at all. Not even a bit. Especially since he didn’t tell me until months after he found out she had survived. 

“Nope, I’m totally okay with having been his ‘other woman’ for almost two years without being aware of it.” 

Very calmly, the nail polish handle cracks in her grip. 

Gaila winces and replicates cheap alcohol for them. She puts an umbrella in Uhura’s, and reluctantly, Uhura cracks a grin.

Uhura leaves the rec room with violently orange toenails, perfectly painted despite the musty aftertaste in her mouth. 

With the attention Uhura had been paying to Kirk earlier, the only person she could have stumbled into would be Kirk himself. 

It probably falls under one of the unspoken laws of the universe. 

“You doing okay, lieutenant?” He asks, steadying her with a hand on her elbow. “Do we need to put out a search warrant for your boots? Not that I dislike the view, the orange looks fierce as fuck, but the floor can be rather chilly.” 

She shrugs. 

Kirk’s expression transforms from mildly bewildered to moderately concerned. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Uhura prides herself on being a well-spoken woman. She’s the most eloquent communications officer in the ‘fleet. 

It’s a little embarrassing that it only takes a case of cheap beer to twist her tongue into a knot that keeps her from saying what she wants to get across to people. 

“Fucking pointy-eared prick,” She mutters, swiping a hand across her eyes harshly. “’s stupid, you know? I was the other woman and I never wanted to be that girl and he made me so I should be mad but ‘m just depressed and I never wanted to be that girl either but ‘m just upset like Gaila said so it’s not fair.” 

Kirk rolls back on his heels and comprehension dawns bright like an early morning. 

“Spock’s a lunatic for losing you, you know,” He states empathetically. “I’d kill for a woman that’s not afraid to kick my ass when I’m being a bastard.” 

She shrugs again. 

“I’m serious. Whoever the other woman is, he’s nuts for choosing her over you. I bet she’s a Vulcan, right? What’s he want an icy princess for when he has the fiercest queen right here?” He pats her elbow before letting go completely. He waves someone over that happens to be walking by. “Yeoman Rand, can you escort Lieutenant Uhura to her quarters? I’m going to see if I can sneak a hangover cure out of sickbay for her.” 

The blonde woman that links elbows with her draws Uhura’s attention. 

“Of course, Captain. Lieutenant, I love your toenails. Did you do them yourself?” 

Janice Rand walks Uhura to her room, discreetly and carefully. She laughs, not meanly, just delicately and a little delightedly, every time Uhura’s hand comes up to pet the stack of hair on top of her hair. 

It’s full of braids and twirls, but Uhura can’t spy a single bobby pin or clip. 

How does she do that? 

“A lot of practice, ma’am. Your hair is long enough that I could probably do something similar, though it made be too thin. I could try, if you’d like.” 

“Okay.” 

Around an hour later, Uhura, sprawled across her bed with her hair fanning across Janice’s lap, half-finished and with probably a bit of wine spilled into it when she told Janice to help herself to her secret stash, chirps, “Enter!” when the bell rings. 

Kirk walks in a few steps and laughs. “I’ll just leave these hypos for tomorrow morning. You’re lucky I thought to grab more than one, Yeoman.” 

Janice laughs back, loudly with a snort. “I’d be able to do my job ten times better than any other yeoman if I came onto the bridge completely wasted, Captain. A couple glasses won’t wreck me.” 

“Nonetheless,” His eyes shine with mirth, and Uhura thinks she can understand how people swoon over them. They are very blue. “There’s one for you just in case. My comm is on if either of you need anything.” 

Both women wave goodbye, and he, clearly amused by their slight intoxication, waves back before the door slides shut. 

* * * * * 

Jim grins and nods once he finds Gaila in the rec room. 

Gaila claps her hands together excitedly. “It worked?” 

“Uhura seemed happier, at the very least. I think you were right, she just needed someone new to hang out with. And a ton of alcohol to get that in motion, but Janice was a great pick.” 

“Two birds with one rock, right?” Gaila flicks her hair over her shoulder haughtily. “I told you it would work. Janice is the best yeoman out there, but she needs a life outside of regulating your life. I’m a little too brash for her first Enterprise-BFFL, and fuck if I know how to help Nyota out of a break up seeing as I’ve never had one. 

“And it’s not like Nyota has a ton of people to turn to, you know? She spent so much time getting close to Spock that she’s grown apart from most of her friends from the academy far before she got here. I think some new blood will do her some good.” 

“I think so too. It’s hard being in a relationship and not just giving everything you have to the person. Extremely unhealthy to do so, I do not recommend it. Zero out of ten recommendation, if you need a scale for it.” 

Gaila asks, mildly, “Does that mean the relationship between you and Leonard is zero out of ten, Jim-Jim?” 

“I’m offended!” Jim places a hand over his heart. “Let me reiterate: A romantic relationship would be zero out of ten. Mine and Bones’ platonic bromance relationship kicks ass big time and will always be a fifty out of ten.” 

“Still, it wouldn’t hurt for you to have more than me, him, and Pike in your contact list. You’re more than friendly enough to get a long term girlfriend.” 

He shrugs. “Yeah, I could. That’s not really my style though. I don’t really want romance. You know that.” 

“Yeah, I know. I just worry about you, that’s all.” 

Jim twirls one of her curls around his fingertip before releasing it, letting it “sproing” across the place. 

“Well, now that we have officially forced a friendship, I have had a stressful week and I promised Bones I’d hack the replicators for our dinner tonight, which I realize does nothing to dissuade you of our codependence.” 

Gaila pats his hand. “Good, I was just about to kick you out. I’m meeting a certain hot pilot here tonight in about ten minutes and I don’t want you cramping my style.” 

Jim pauses. “Are you meeting Sulu?” He asks incredulously. 

Her head bobs enthusiastically. “Uh huh! Have you seen him? He’s gorgeous. The things I’m going to do to that man-“ 

“I really thought he was gay.” 

“Jim, sweetheart, your gaydar is about as functional as our old warp core.” 

“You say the sweetest things, Gaila.” 

“Jesus, didn’t I say to get out? I need to prepare myself for some hot loving tonight and I don’t need a nightmare like you fresh in my thoughts for that.” 

* * * * * 

Jim rings the doorbell for Bones’ quarters. It swooshes open before the chime finishes. 

“You said you’d be over immediately after your shift. We agreed that you could leave sickbay because you’d come straight here-“ 

“I know, I know,” Jim interrupts, sliding into the room and letting the door shut. He reaches out and hugs Bones tightly, sighing. “But Gaila was friend-matching for Uhura since she’s all depressed and it was about to go south if I didn’t intervene. It took longer than I thought it would.” 

A hand starts to card through his hair, and, involuntarily, Jim’s knees wobble and he tightens his grip. 

“You care about this crew far too much, Jimmy.” 

“I know.” 

“Have you been feeling nauseous still?” 

“No.” 

“Have you eaten enough to even feel nauseous?” 

“No.” 

“Come on,” Bones sighs and directs Jim to sit on the edge of his bed. “What do you want? Replicated chili or replicated chicken noodle soup?” 

“Chili. And water, please.” 

“Please, he says. When’d you learn manners?” He pads over to the tiny replicator all rooms have, punching in the codes. 

“From my southern gentleman, of course. They came to me through osmosis while studying a couple years ago.” 

“Mm, funny.” 

Jim toes off his boots and pulls off his command gold outer shirt before curling underneath the covers. He hugs his knees against his chest. 

“I’m really proud of you, kid.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Do I need something to make me say it? I just wanted you to know. Not many people would be able to go down to that planet and not kill the bastard that killed so many people. I wanted to rip him apart, and I took the Hippocratic oath.” 

Jim shrugged. 

“Seriously, Jimmy,” He plops onto the bed next to him, holding the food tray. “I really am. You’re doing great, you know. Go on a traumatic mission, get back in one piece, not kill your first officer for being a spectacular ignorant fool,and then go to ensure the emotional well being of your crew… I’d say that makes a pretty damn good captain.” 

The watery smile Jim provides him with makes Bones glad he decided to speak up. 

Some days Jim feels that he needs to fix everyone else’s problems, and usually that’s okay. It’s the kind of man he is, and Bones gets that it makes him feel better about the lack of control he has over his own issues. He doesn’t fault Jim for helping Gaila with her absurd plot. 

Bones will always know what to say to fix whatever problems are in Jim’s mind though, and he knows that to Jim, that’s the much more impressive skill to have. 

The crew might be starting to realize that Jim has his problems just like everyone else, but Bones will ensure that, for Jim’s own comfort and safety, they will never see everything. 

Jim does it for the most part by trudging along and helping everyone else with a smile. If the crew suspects anything, they tend to brush it off and assume it was just a fluke since he recovers so quickly. 

Spock, especially, likes to analyze the dilemmas Jim hides then be fantastically blind to them in the same minute.

It’s okay if they see the cracks. It’s what’s beneath them that he’ll have to carefully guard for Jim.


End file.
